the days of my life- 第106部分

Such　at　least　is　an　article　of　my　creed。　Nor；　now　that　I　have　reached　to　it；　can　I　find　therein　any　point　of　difference　between　it　and　what　the　Saviour　taught。　There　was　a　time；　indeed；　when　I　did　not　credit　the　existence　of　an　embodied　evil。　To…day　I　have　learned　otherwise。　For　in　truth　all　these　avenues　of　experience；　search　and　thought；　after　many　circuitous　journeyings　and　expeditions　into　nothingness；　have　just　led　me　back　to　the　eternal　verities　that　I　was　taught　at　my　mother’s　knee；　at　some　of　which；　such　as　the　efficacy　of　prayer　（though　through　it　all；　from　habit　or　from　hope；　I　never　ceased　to　pray）　and　the　actual　existence　of　this　our　Arch…Enemy；　to　my　shame　be　it　said；　I　was　wont　to　shrug　my　shoulders；　if　not　to　scoff。　Yes；　these　wings　of　prayer　which　once　I　thought　as　fanciful　as　those　of　angels　in　the　cottage　pictures；　have　borne　me　to　a　frail　pinnacle　of　the　temple　of　my　trembling　soul；　whence　at　times；　very　faint　and　far　away；　across　the　gulf　of　our　mortality；　I　seem　to　catch　some　glimpse　of　the　Holy　Mount　and　of　the　veiled　and　throbbing　Glory　that　broods　thereon。　A　vain　fancy　of　the　striving　heart；　the　reader　will　perhaps　declare；　and　it　may　be　so；　though　I　pray　that　it　is　not。
There　would　seem　also　to　be　some　external　evidence　which　goes　to　support　the　doctrine　of　the　continuance　of　the　personality　beyond　the　changes　of　death。　Spiritualism　I　do　not　include；　since　although　many　people；　some　of　them　of　great　intellect　and　high　character；　believe　in　it；　and　I　know　well　that　whatever　it　may　be　it　is　not　all　fraud；　however　much　it　may　be　mixed　with　fraud；　I　am　by　no　means　satisfied　as　to　the　real　origin　of　its　phenomena。　Without　expressing　any　definite　opinion；　at　times　I　incline　to　the　view　that　it　also　is　but　a　device　of　the　Devil；　by　specious　apparitions　and　the　exhibition　of　an　uncanny　knowledge　which　may　be　one　of　his　attributes；　to　lead　heart…sick　mortals　into　regions　they　were　not　meant　to　travel　and　there　infect　them　with　the　microbe　of　some　alien；　unknown　sin。
On　one　point；　however；　I　am　clear。　Whether　or　no　it　is　lawful　for　trained　and　scientific　minds　to　enter　on　these　dangerous　investigations　in　the　interests　of　a　search　for　some　truth　which　it　may　be　intended；　in　the　fulness　of　time　shall　be　revealed　for　the　guidance　and　benefit　of　the　world；　the　majority　of　men　and　women；　especially　if　they　be　young；　will　do　well　to　leave　them　quite　alone。　The　risks　are　too　many；　and　the　fruits　of　such　research；　however　golden　they　may　seem；　are　apt　to　be　unsatisfying；　if　not　deadly。　The　parable　of　Eve　and　the　forbidden　apple　of　the　Tree　of　Knowledge；　from　the　eating　of　which　came　death　and　sorrow；　still　has　applications　in　these　latter　days。　Once　I　tried　to　point　this　moral　in　a　tale　I　wrote　which　is　named　“Stella　Fregelius。”
Nor　can　we　rely　too　much　upon　the　revelations　of　such　seers　as　Swedenborg；　for　these　may　be　and　doubtless　often　are　self…deceived　or　the　victims　of　hallucinations。　In　short；　of　all　such　matters　and　dogmas；　if　so　they　may　be　called；　including　that　of　theosophy　which　its　interesting　and　gigantic　dreams　reported　to　emanate　from　the　teaching　of　“Masters”　whose　address　it　seems　impossible　to　discover；　it　may　be　said　that；　like　that　of　reincarnation；　they　are　superfluous。　The　Christian　can　afford　to　wait　to　learn　the　truth　of　them　—　or　perhaps　their　fallacy。
We　tread　on　firmer　ground　when　we　consider　that　as　far　back　as　history　shows　her　light；　and　beyond　it　as　the　graves　of　primitive　peoples　prove；　the　almost　universal　instinct　of　mankind　was　to　believe　that　death　is　but　a　gate　of　other　forms　of　continued　and　individual　Life。　I　know　of　no　instinct　which　haunts　breathing　creatures　that　is　uselessly　given　without　purpose；　and　does　not　serve　some　necessary　or　protective　object　or　reflect　some　existent　truth。　Why；　then；　among　them　all　should　this　rooted　conviction　that　physical　decease　is　not　the　end　of　man　be　but　a　vain　thing　fondly　imagined？　Such　a　conclusion　seems　inconsistent；　even　unnatural　and　absurd。　But　if　our　faith　is　strong　enough　to　enable　us　to　accept　Christ’s　teaching；　again　what　need　is　there　for　us　to　seek　support　in　instincts　which　it　is　possible　we　do　not　understand　aright？
To　one　fact；　corroborative　in　its　nature；　I　think；　however；　weight　should　be　given；　that　of　the　fatherhood　of　God；　displayed　towards　those　of　His　children　who　seek；　or　who　in　His　foresight　He　knows；　in　some　other　day　or　place；　will　seek　the　fort　and　protection　of　His　love。　How　any　reflecting　man　who　has　led　a　full　and　adventurous　life　can　doubt　the　present；　living　power　of　that　fatherhood　passes　my　understanding！　Certainly　I　cannot。　When　we　rode　the　wild　horses　of　our　youthful　sins；　the　red　blood　coursing　through　our　veins　like　wine；　who　was　it　that　seized　the　reins　and　again　and　yet　again　delivered　us　from　the　last　disaster？　Who　was　it　that　has　so　often　protected　us　from　the　results　of　our　own　self…willed　folly　and　even　turned　it　to　our　advantage？　Who　that　by　His　gift　of　a　higher　hope　has　stilled　the　raging　agony　of　our　griefs？　Who　that　by　the　unexpected　answers　springing　at　us　from　the　Bible’s　written　page　or　with　some　word　spoken；　apparently　at　hazard；　by　one　of　His　servants　upon　earth；　has　removed　our　doubts；　enlightened　our　darkness　and　strengthened　our　wavering　soul？　Who　that　has　shown　us　a　way　of　escape　from　sharp　temptation？　Or；　amongst　a　thousand　other　examples；　who　that　has　borne　with　our　presumptuous　profanities　and　ingratitude　and　at　last　in　His　own　good　hour　has　set　our　erring　feet　upon　the　paths　of　peace？　Or；　to　take　one　more　example；　who　was　it　that　by　a　dream　and　a　vision　of　the　night　taught　me　that　His　humbler　creatures　are　my　kin　and　not　called　to　life　to　be　slaughtered　for　my　pleasure；　even　though　some　of　them　must　die　to　serve　my　necessities？　Yet　again；　who　twice　has　snatched　me　by　the　hair　from　the　murderer’s　spears　and　bullets；　twice　from　death　in　the　deep；　and　from　a　score　of　other　perils；　perchance　that　I　might　live　on　to　bear　this　witness；　unworthy　though　it　be？
I　have　spoken　of　this　fatherhood　as　a　fact　corroborative　in　its　nature　of　the　truth　of　the　arguments　which　I　have　so　feebly　attempted　to　advance　with　reference　to　the　immortality　of　our　souls。　For　this　reason。　Even　among　the　lowest　of　us　fatherhood　implies　love。　The　fathers　are　few　who　desire　that　even　their　erring　and　unthankful　children　should　die　and　vanish　from　their　sight　for　ever；　and　much　less　that　these　should　live　on　in　suffering　for　all　uncounted　time。　Can　we　then　for　one　instance　imagine　that　the　Architect　and　Author　of　the　universe；　the　Supreme；　the　Absolute；　He　who　was　and　is　and　shall　be；　He　whose　Holy　Name　is　Love；　the　Begetter　of　Spirits　and　of　men；　desires　that　His　children　should　be　tormented；　or　die　and　not　endure；　redeemed　and　purified；　to　adore　and　serve　Him？　Not　so！　Not　for　this　does　He　count　the　sparrows　that　fall　and　number　the　very　hairs　upon　our　heads。　In　His　cup　is　the　wine　of　life　—　if　we　will　but　drink　—　not　the　henbane　of　death　eternal。　He　is　the　God　of　the　living；　not　of　the　dead。　Did　not　the　Saviour　say　it　that　we　might　know　and　believe？
And　if　your　reasonings　are　sound；　if　what　you　say　is　true；　the　reader　may　ask；　if　the　righteous　are　redeemed　and　live　to　look　upon　the　Presence　to　all　infinities；　still　what　hope　is　there　for　you　who　are　not　righteous；　who　are　but　a　mon　flesh…stained　sinner？　As　I　shall　not　then　be　here　to　answer　I　will　strive　to　answer　now；　praying　for　grace　that　I　may　do　so　aright。　With　utter　humility；　in　true　unfeigned　abasement　of　heart　and　spirit　I　will　answer。　Was　there　not　one　Mary　Magdalene　out　of　whom　Christ　cast　seven　devils？　Was　there　not　a　woman　taken　in　adultery　whom　He　refused　to　judge？　Did　He　not　declare　that　there　is　joy　in　heaven　over　one　sinner　that　repenteth？　Did　He　not　bid　those　that　were　heavy…laden　to　e　to　Him　and　taste　of　rest？　Therefore　it　is　that　millions　such　as　I；　men　who　in　the　course　of　life　have　erred　deeply　in　some　things　and　fallen　short　in　many；　may　still　dare　to　hope。　Also　who　are　the　righteous？　Even　St。　Paul　speaks　of　the　war　within　him。　Is　it　not　written　that　there　are　no　righteous　on　this　side　of　the　grave　—　none　nearly　perfect？　They　would　not　be　human　if　they　were。　All；　even　deans　and　bishops；　or　some　of　them；　have　need　of　grace。　Surely　it　is　the　attitude　and　strivings　of　the　caged　spirit　that　will　be　considered；　not　the　shortings　of　the　gaoler　body；　the　desire　not　the　deeds；　for　if　it　prove　otherwise　who　can　escape　when　the　heart　is　weighed　in　the　balance？　To　my　mind　the　great　sin　is　not　to　seek　forgiveness　for　sins　—　not　to　try　to　avoid　them　in　the　future。　All　stumble　into　the　mire；　but　of　those　who　elect　to　wallow　there　and　of　those　who　deliberately　refuse　the　saving　hand　that　is　stretched　out　to　them；　what　can　be　said？　Well；　perhaps　they　may　be　given　other　opportunities　elsewhere。　As　a　believer　in　the　infinite　mercy　of　God　I　dare　to　trust　that　this　will　be　so。
I　desire　to　urge；　however；　upon　any　who　care　to　listen　these　three　things　which　I　myself　have　learned　in　the　course　of　years。　First；　the　enormous　importance　of　all　this　matter。　Secondly；　the　folly　of　sin。　Thirdly；　since　it　needs　must　be　that　offences　will　e；　the　urgent　need　of　repentance　before　in　some　other　life　or　lives　we　are　called　upon　to　reap　the　harvest　of　that　unrepented　f